Below is my personal take on the symptoms of religious trauma. All five categories have some common secondary symptoms listed. Keep in mind, not every religious trauma survivor experiences all of these symptoms. Be curious as you read this and take note of the things that resonate with you. Therapy with a licensed trauma therapist would likely be very healing.
Shame
High-control groups hold their members to high standards, often placing unrealistic responsibilities on them. This causes many survivors to feel ashamed and inadequate as they constantly try to prove they’re “good enough”. Shame often creates patterns of false guilt, unrealistic expectations, poor self-care, and excessive self-blame when they are unable to achieve perfection.
This religious trauma symptom is especially common in groups that teach that humans are fundamentally evil, sinful, or worthless on their own. Some groups discourage healthy self-worth by labeling it “pride” or warning their members not to indulge in sources of comfort. This can give members the impression that suffering and self-hatred are not just normal, but ideal.
Signs
Self Criticism: Harsh self-talk, low self-compassion, perfectionism, overworking, inability to accept help or compassion from others.
Self Neglect: Poor self-care, poor boundaries, unaddressed physical and mental health issues, (in extreme cases) self-harm.
Learned Helplessness: Lack of agency, feelings of powerlessness, low motivation, premature sense of defeat, self-doubt.
Low Self-Trust: Low confidence in one’s own judgment, desires, feelings, and needs, reliance on external advice or instruction.
Purity Culture Shame: Excessive guilt and shame about sex and sexuality, stunted sexual development, stigmatizing of healthy sexual expression.
Examples
Maria feels worthless for never living up to her own expectations. Even though others see her as successful, she struggles to acknowledge anything positive about herself.
Lori volunteers and serves in her religious group without resting or taking breaks until her body literally forces her to stop. When she’s sick from exhaustion, all she can think about is how lazy and unproductive she’s being.
John is married but he feels trapped by his secret habit of looking at pornography and masturbating. He can’t bear the thought of talking to his wife about it because he fears that it proves he’s a sex addict.
June dreams of starting his own business but whenever he tries to make plans, he quickly spirals into self-doubt. He gives in to a premature sense of defeat, believing that it must just not be the Lord's plan for his life.
Rigid Thinking
Many religious trauma survivors struggle with inflexible thinking. This makes it hard to listen to other perspectives, be curious, or change our minds when we learn new information. Black-and-white thinking also causes us to make automatic moral judgments without paying attention to nuance.
Rigid thinking typically develops in belief systems that use inflexible and oversimplified frameworks to explain truth, morality, and goodness. In high-control groups, different beliefs and opinions are often dismissed, criticized, or mocked to discourage members from compromising.
Signs
Impaired Critical Thinking: Difficulty determining fact from opinion, dismissing nuance, difficulty compromising.
Binary Thinking: Categorizing things into extremes (good vs. bad), moralizing, and judging neutral ideas or actions as right or wrong.
False Certainty: Inflated confidence in the correctness of one’s own stance, intolerance, poor listening skills, frequent confrontations, limited empathy, refusal to accept contradicting evidence.
Examples
David was taught that climate change is absolutely false. When his friends try to show him scientific evidence that contradicts him, he gets angry, defensive and feels disrespected.
Nadia was taught that forgiveness is always the right thing no matter what. She keeps giving her abusive husband more chances because she believes it would be wrong to stay separated from him.
Beatrice is adjusting to her best friend coming out as gay. She wants to be loving towards him but whenever the topic of sexuality comes up, she gets anxious and feels compelled to say that she still believes homosexuality is a sin.
Fear & Anxiety
Most religious trauma survivors experience chronic anxiety symptoms like generalized worries, panic attacks, nightmares, intrusive thoughts, and superstitious compulsions. These symptoms usually stem from fear-inducing religious teachings that pose some kind of practical or spiritual threat (ie. exclusion from the group, hell, or spiritual warfare).
High-control religious groups often use these fear tactics to enforce control and conformity within the group and to recruit new members. Teachings about a conditional afterlife (ie. heaven and hell) can induce extreme fear about who will be rewarded or punished. Another common source of anxiety is the concept of unseen supernatural forces that have the power to control or harm people.
Signs
Afterlife Anxiety: Terror of oneself or loved ones going to hell or being excluded, rapture anxiety, insecurity about salvation, and pressure to witness to or “save” non-believers from hell.
Scrupulosity (Religious OCD): Superstitions, obsessive religious thoughts, compulsive behaviors, repetitive rituals, and hyperfocus on doing what’s “right”.
Supernatural Anxiety: Fear and paranoia about evil spirits (demons, the devil) possessing or harming someone, fear of spiritually-induced afflictions (mental illness, physical illness), or dread of cosmic punishment.
Sexual Dysfunction: High anxiety about sex, physical pain during sexual activity, coerced sex or marriage, inability to enjoy sex, and obsessive fears about virginity, pregnancy, or modesty.
Religious Cynicism: Difficulty feeling safe in religious settings due to suspicion, distrust, and paranoia about being controlled, exploited, or manipulated by religious systems.
Examples
When James was 10, a priest told him that no one can know for sure if they'll get into paradise until they die and face God's judgment. He has panic attacks regularly and prays every night that he will be spared.
Nigel does his quiet time in the same way every single morning. If he misses a day or forgets a step in the process, he feels extremely anxious and dysregulated. He worries that if he messes up he'll totally lose control.
Lisa often she sees spiritual “signs” that she believes are from God. When she sees a bad sign, she is terrified that it means she’s being targeted by evil spirits. She sometimes gets so anxious, she can’t leave the house.
Joe gets panicked and upset when his mom talks about what she’s learning at her church. Because of his past experiences, he’s terrified that she will be brainwashed and exploited by people with bad intentions.
Suppression
Religious trauma survivors experience a wide range of symptoms that come from long-term suppression of their natural instincts, feelings, and identities. They often have trouble identifying and understanding their own feelings and needs and don’t trust their own perceptions. This can eventually turn into depression, unexplained physical symptoms, and unhealthy coping strategies.
In high-control groups, suppression is used to keep members compliant. Certain ways of expressing identity and emotion are idealized in the group while others are depicted as weak, shameful, or dangerous. When members are punished for trusting and expressing themselves, they learn to rely on the group’s expectations more than their own experiences. Members whose identities don’t naturally fit into the religious group's norms feel deep shame and often try to force themselves to change.
Signs
Emotional Suppression: Habitual invalidation of one’s feelings, depression, emotional numbness, shame, low motivation, and dissociation (detachment or disconnection from the present).
Identity Suppression: Denial of one’s natural traits/tendencies, identity confusion, low self-awareness, internalized homophobia/transphobia, anger, low motivation, self-hatred, and suicidal ideation.
Somatization: Converting emotional/mental distress into physical health problems such as chronic pain, chronic fatigue, insomnia, hypertension, gastrointestinal issues, and headaches.
Addictive Behaviors: Unhealthy stress management through unhealthy relationships with work, substances, food, sex, risk-taking, shopping, gambling, etc.
Examples
Rhea was deeply hurt by a comment from another member of her small group. She doesn’t say anything about it, though, and forces herself not to cry because she knows the group will just tell her to forgive and move on.
Roy has faithfully led his congregation for over 25 years but internally he feels empty and hopeless all the time. He feels ashamed for not being joyful and worries that if he tells anyone at church about his depression, they'll ask him to step down from leadership.
Morna leads and attends church events several times a week but always leaves feeling drained and exhausted. She's an introvert who needs a lot of alone time but she feels ashamed for not having the endless supply of social energy that her group seems to expect.
Jordan has spent years trying to figure out the cause of her constant body pain and fatigue. The doctors can’t find any medical cause and Jordan is starting to feel like she’s crazy.
Relationship Dysfunction
Many religious trauma survivors struggle to navigate relationships in healthy ways. They often feel an intense sense of obligation to be loyal to the group (even when they are mistreated) or find it difficult to separate their own thoughts and feelings from others in the group. These patterns extend to personal relationships as well.
Groups can ensure control over their members with authoritarian leadership that devalues personal privacy and autonomy. This normalizes dysfunctional relationship patterns and unhealthy inter-reliance within the group. Members are motivated to please authority figures and are often encouraged to police one another’s behavior as well, creating a culture of conditional acceptance.
In order to reinforce group loyalty, members might be told that outsiders are dangerous and the group is the only place they will be safe. This creates fear and makes it hard for members to identify and trust healthy relationships if they leave the group.
Signs
Codependency: Needing a relationship and feeling needed by others, excessive inter-reliance, poor boundaries, obligation, guilt, and a sense of being trapped.
Trauma Bonding: Defending or protecting a relationship that is the source of abuse.
Social Anxiety: Fear of being scrutinized or judged by others, high sensitivity to perceived rejection, fear of being the center of attention, social avoidance, and isolation.
Authority Overreliance: Extreme submissive or people-pleasing behaviors and an excessive need for permission, instructions, or approval from authority figures.
Authority Defiance: Contempt and distrust of authority figures, paranoia about being targeted, and refusal to comply with rules regardless of consequences.
Examples
Whenever Judy talks to people about what’s going on in her life she feels like they’re going to judge her or think she's stupid. As a result, she tends to over-explain all of her choices to make sure they understand her.
When Juan's religious leader asks him to lead a new small group, he says yes even though he really doesn’t have the time or the desire to do it. He tries to convince himself that it will be good for him even though deep down he feels trapped and resentful.
Darren has been working at his job for several months, but he's constantly worried that his boss is disappointed and planning to fire him. He goes above and beyond at work even though his boss keeps telling him he's doing great.
Darren's boss just instituted a new management policy that doesn’t make sense to him. Instead of trying to understand it, Darren refuses to comply and gets defensive when his boss writes him up.
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